A butt is for what?
by Crazy Girl Person
Summary: Kenshin must answer a question to spare the universe from certain doom. Random insanity ahead. So tell me, what would you do with a butt?


The first clue is a butt.  What will you do with a butt?  Will you sit on it, or will you kick it?  Will you use your poop chute to shoot poop?  Or will the poop shoot you?  This is the answer Kenshin must find or else the Universe is DOOMED!

            "So what will you do with a butt, Mr. Himura?"

            Kenshin raised an eyebrow at the elderly man before him.  It was certainly a strange question to ask, and even more so if the person is a complete stranger.  "I'm not sure what you are talking about sir, de gozaru."

            "A butt, Mr. Himura.  You know, you have one of those yourself?  What would to do with one?"

            Kenshin titled his head and rubbed the back of his neck.  Why was this old man bothering him?  He had shopping to do and chores to finish.  And just how was this any of the old man's business anyway?  "I'm sorry, sir.  I do not have time for such riddles.  If you'll please excuse me de gozaru."

            "I'm afraid not!"

            The redhead was taken back a bit by the old man's sudden ferocity.  "The question must be answered, or the Universe will be doomed.  As strange as it may sound, it is the truth and the time for explanations has passed.  Please, if you value the life of the planets and stars, as well as your own, you will answer the question!"

            His violet eyes blinked many times.  The old man seemed so very frantic about this that he must have valid reason for demanding an answer.  If what he spoke was true, then he was indeed the only hope for the Universe, even as absurd as it seemed.  Well, stranger things have happened and there didn't seem to be any harm in answering a question like this.  Better safe than sorry, ne?

            "What would I do with a butt?  Why, I suppose I would sit on it.  I have done so many times with my one de gozaru."

            "Sit on your butt you say?  What else would you do?  What else do you use your butt for?"

            "Well……there are times when I…..must pass solid food things."

            "Ah, I see.  What about the butt of another?"

            "Excuse me?"

            "The butt of another, perhaps a friend or enemy.  What would you do with their butts?"

            "Well, if it was that of an enemy, I suppose I would kick it."

            "Kick an enemy's butt you say?  Interesting, what about that of a friend?"

            "That I cannot answer sir.  I see no need to use a friend's butt for any purpose."

            "What about kicking as well if they are being foolish or looking at if they look nice.  You have a lady friend, don't you?"

            "ORO!?"

            "Don't try to fool me, Himura.  You are a decent man, but a man nonetheless.  So looking at a lady friend's butt is something one would do?"

            "Well….I suppose one would."

            "Ah, I see.  This has all been very informal.  Thank you Mr. Himura.  Your knowledge may have just saved the Universe."

            Without uttering a single other word, the old man turned.  His tattered cape waved in the breeze as his soles made heavy prints in the dirt road.  He raised a hand to bid farewell to the swordsman, calling one last thing back without a single glance over his shoulder.  "Don't forget to use that butt of yours wisely, Mr. Himura.  The future may depend upon it."  Kenshin's eyes followed the man's retreating form as his ears pondering upon the conversation.  It was strange to say the least, but if his knowledge did indeed spare the Universe, he supposed it was worth it.  His brain brought forth the task at hand and he regained his bearings.  There was shopping to be done and Kaoru would not be happy to come home from lessons to find it had not been completed.

            -----

            Sora crossed her arms and tapped her foot as she waited for her companion.  Occasionally her fingers would weave through her silky black hair and her teeth would clamp on her lip with frustration.  He was twenty minutes late again!  This would certainly be the last time she tolerated his tardiness.  

            She let out another annoyed grunt when she finally glimpsed upon his figure.  She smoothed out the wrinkles in her kimono and prepared to give him the earful he so richly deserved.  "Genji!  Where have you been and why are you dressed like a old man?"

            Genji grinned as he removed his tattered cape and mask.  "Do you really have to ask?  Another sucker fell for it!"  Sora rolled her eyes and suppressed the urge to smack him upside the head until sundown.  "What is with this obsession of yours anyway!?  You really do lead a sad life, you know that?"  Genji brushed it off with an uncaring shrug.  "As sad is at may be, it sure is fun.  Join me next time and we'll see what my next 'victim' thinks of all this."

            "No Genji!"  Sora's words were emphasized with a quick cut through the air with her hand.  "This is childish and pointless.  I'm sorry, but if you continue this foolishness then I will have to end our relationship."

            "Heh, heh, you said 'but'."

            "That's it!"  Sora's fists were tightly clenched, as she will herself not to beat her now ex-boyfriend senseless.  "It's over Genji!  Oh, and just for you information I've been cheating on you with three guys all at the same time!"  She turned on heal, causing her hair to swing from the abrupt motion, and stomped off.  Genji blinked for a few seconds, then shrugged once again.  "Ah, well.  Earn some loose some."

            -----

            Tae walked casually through the streets.  It was nice to have the day off for a change.  Perhaps she would invite Kaoru and Tsubume to go shopping with her later on.  She had her eye on this very pretty kimono and she just might have enough money for it.  "Excuse me, Miss Tae?"

            Tae turned at the voice behind her.  Her eyes were greeted with the sight of an elderly man wearing a tattered cape.  "Yes, how can I help you, sir?"

            "Tell me, Miss Tae, what would you do with a butt?  Please, the Universe is in grave danger."

            The End

This was completely random and really has no point at all except being interesting and hopefully a little entertaining to read.  I'm stuck at school right now with nothing to do and I'm having a lil' bit of writer's block for "I Wish", but that should clear up soon.

Please review it.  This is the first time I've whipped something up so random and quickly and I'd like to see how I did.  Thanks for reading.


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